Promises Broken, Promises to Break
by Talonwings
Summary: Axel's thoughts as he fades from Betwixt and Between.


**Hey, guess what? **

**I don't own Kingdom Hearts. **

The boy is already gone.

The brown-haired boy, the blond-haired boy. Sora. Roxas.

He's disappeared through the portal that the dying man has opened for him.

Now the man lies still, waiting. Waiting for all the remaining bits of himself to seep into the darkness, to become consumed by that which has already claimed his heart.

He watches the swirling void around him, feeling the tug of oblivion as it continues to siphon away his form. In these last moments, everything around him becomes agonizingly clear; clear as water, clear as rain.

He's given all he had. All of his energy, all of his self—if it can be called that—was part of one final attack.

He did it to save Roxas.

Or so he tells himself.

But deep inside, the man wonders if he didn't want to die in the first place.

What is life worth when you're living without a heart?

Every emotion a falsehood, every laugh a lie. Even the ones he shared with his closest friends.

Anger. Hatred. Betrayal. Laughter. Love.

He has been told that they have no meaning to him.

_Everything is going according to plan._

_There's simply too much on the line…_

The man wonders what will become of his friend, the blue-haired boy who was once nearly another half of his self. Slowly, the stakes of ambition have driven them further apart, severing their lost friendship a bit at a time.

"I'm not the one who changed, Isa," he whispers softly.

But maybe the darkness will be their opportunity for repair.

_Bet you don't know why the sun sets red._

_Light is made up of lots of colors, and out of all of them, red's the one that travels the farthest._

Oh, Roxas.

He didn't deserve the fate that the worlds gave him. Doomed to non-existence when he so obviously deserved to enjoy the privilege of existing.

The man is sorry, now, for betraying the blond boy who became his best friend. What he needed was a friend he could rely upon when he was lost, not the traitor who disguised himself behind the mask of security and cockiness and made up for weakness with a generous display of pyrotechnics.

"Let's meet again in the next life… right, Roxas?" he murmurs.

He will apologize. That will be the first thing he will do.

The man's thoughts drift back now, back to a time before Roxas, before Castle Oblivion, before betrayals and plots and schemes and twisted chains of memories.

Back to a time painted in golden sunlight and the sounds of laughter.

And the voices. He has forgotten them, until now, but the clarity of encroaching death brings them rushing to the surface, like bubbles in a stream.

_Goodnight, Lea. Sleep well, my darling._

His mother, her face framed by the striking red hair for which he himself is known. He doesn't want the light out.

_Wait, please, Mom! _

She turns.

_What is it, honey?_

_I'm… afraid of the darkness._

_Lea, as long as I am here, you never need to fear anything from the darkness. I will protect you forever and always. _

Her cool hand against his forehead, sending him off into the peaceful embrace of sleep.

The memories skip ahead a year or two. Suddenly, he is standing in a plaza, with three figures arranged to the left and right of him.

_C'mon, Lea, let's see it!_

That is the black-haired girl, her face split by a wide grin. The blue-haired boy stands beside her, a hand on her shoulder.

_Yeah, Lea. Let's see it._

His smile is knowing, superior.

He turns to face the final figure. She smiles, and her voice rings out clearly in his mind.

_I know you can do it, Lea. I believe in you._

He grins. The discs fly straight and true, across the plaza and into the targets they have set up beside the fountain.

Two perfect bulls-eyes, and he grins at her.

_Thanks._

Another year passes in a second.

She's standing in front of him now, her head still several inches below his height, but she's staring right into his eyes, and his are caught and drawn in by her own shining blues.

_You're leaving?_

_Tomorrow, -._

Why is her name gone? His eyes narrow slightly; he wants to remember her name.

_But, Lea…_

_I have to, -. It's my only chance to see the other worlds. I have to go._

She nods, and her eyes are sad, but she understands. He smiles, pulling her into a hug.

_Don't forget me, okay?_

She stares up at him, her gaze serious.

_I promise I will never forget you, Lea Hokama. _

She bites her lip, then adds something else.

_Don't forget me, either._

He smiles gently down at her.

_If I ever got anything memorized, it was you. I promise, I'll never forget you, -._

The memory fades into blurry darkness.

The man tries to open his eyes, and then finds they are already open. His sight is leaving him, the last vestiges of consciousness draining from his body.

He's betrayed too many people in this life. Roxas, Isa, and _her_. Empty promises made of empty words he was too selfish or unable to hold onto.

_I promised I'd remember her name._

He wants to loathe himself, but has no heart to loathe with. It is locked away, with his promises and her name.

_I'll do better next time. I promise._

He smiles mirthlessly, feeling the last parts of his body beginning to dissolve.

_More promises, Axel? When will you ever learn?_

His bitter smile is the last thing to fade.


End file.
